Love Blog Series #5: Extension to the Theory of Equivalent Exchange

Remember this theory?

The theory states that "for the exchange to take place, the two key players of the relationship must be somehow complete first before they give it to each other. As for this, they will take what the other has given and the cycle goes on. Because of their completeness, and their readiness, the give-and-take cycle becomes a natural process, like breathing and eating."

(for more explanation, see Love Blog Series #1: The Theory of Equivalent Exchange)

There's an extension to it, which will encompass all other relationships as well.

You may think that when a person gives his whole self to his partner, the partner is fulfilled and is complete from that love being given by her partner. Now I will disagree with that.

Because people are imperfect. We can't give perfect love... remember my last paragraph? That you can't give without being complete... and by being complete you must ask from God to give you first His complete and perfect love so that you can share it to others especially to your partner...

The receiver of love is not really receiving a perfect love from her partner if the love given does not come from God and the giver is not really giving himself and his love completely if the giver doesn't have the love from God.

Thus, the reality of this theory is that the reason behind the completeness of a person inside the cycle of love is not because of the love being completely given to us by the giver but because of the love being given by our Lord.

The cycle really becomes a natural process when we share and give that whole love from our Lord.

Our fulfillment of our needs is really not because of the person who give us love, but because the Lord fulfilled us first our needs (that is why we should be complete first before having a relationship... at this point, we will discuss it in our next topic: Being complete).

And in loving relationship, the Lord uses our partners as His instruments to show His perfect love for us again, and again, and again.

Making us complete again, and again , and again...

And having that kind of reality, we don't need to look after ourselves. Thus, we have more time to look after our partners needs... Because we ourselves are instruments of God to show His love for our partners.

Although this reality looks like that we fulfill them, it is really the Lord using us to love them completely. Isn't that amazing?

To conclude this topic, if you really love... or if I rephrase it: If you really want to love the person you are loving right now (may it be your parent, child, boyfriend, girlfriend, special some-one, spouse, friend) don't just give your imperfect love...

Ask for God to give you first His perfect love to you so that you could share and give His perfect love to others... remember this equation:

Perfect love tenfold = imperfect love from you + perfect love given to you from God

Don't worry about the cycle... you don't need the cycle for the fulfillment of your needs from your partner. Why? Because your needs are met by God's love! (I said it before and I'll say it again... you being complete will not come from your partner... period) The cycle will come and be a natural process after.

God's love is ought to be shared :D It makes His love increase tenfold :D

(Watch out for our next topic in our series: Two Simple Instructions)