Love Blog Series #2: Sweet Tooth

A 500-peso gift given by a guy to his girlfriend.
An extravagant gift saying "I really really love you" in beautiful word-art and is given to a girl.
Three 1500-peso bouquet of roses given to a girl by her suitor for "breakfast", "lunch" and "dinner".
A 3-paged letter saying all things about love and life with her and how happy he is to actually meet and be with her and is given every monthsary to his girlfriend.
Bought a stuffed-toy, a dog, and gave it as a Christmas gift to his girlfriend.
Prepared a surprise for his "crush". Contacted a local coffee shop for reservations, bought a bouquet of the girl's most favorite flowers, bought a teddy bear, created his own card, prepared the place, and totally surprised the girl.

These are 5 different situations. Maybe 5 different sets of people who have done these things. What do these 5 situations have in common?

Common point: All has gifts being given. Outwardly expressing that the guy loved the girl.

Sweet right? Not quite.
Ask me that question at the time when I was 18 years-old and I would totally go into "kilig" mode and say... "Wow!! How sweet!! Grabe astigin!!"

Ask me now, I'm sorry to shatter your sweet tooth, but I'll say "Not quite... Not sweet enough"

Not long ago, a friend of mine got an extravagant (when I say extravagant, it means something that is nearly out-of-reach to be bought by a non-working student because of financial matters and stuff... i.e. a 1500-peso gift bought by a 4th year highschool student... if you know what I mean) gift from his boyfriend. Another friend of mine was there when she got it and was amazed on how the guy really "loved" the girl. Contradictory to what my friend said, my left eyebrow is lifted and said in reply "You call that love? My dog could do that." (Ok, I didn't said that last sentence but I did just put it here just for a laugh).

My friend said in reply, "Why? He's so sweet!! Giving that thing..."
"O come on, that is sweet? You call that sweet?!!" In my mind, candy was sweeter than that.
"Yes it is!! It is because your standards are too high..." my friend replied in defense for that gift.

Standards? Well, I guess my "standards" are too high... Sweetness for me is when couples love each other. For me, it is when they show each other true love in real and simple ways like hugging each other, saying "I love you" 7 times a day (and he means it when he says it), fulfilling each others needs, doing things together, serving each other, loving each other, sharing each other's lives... Yes, these are my standards of sweetness: When they genuinely express the Love of God to each other that it is so contagious even their friends feel it when they are together.

It's not the gift...
It's not the beautiful "I love you"s in artful letters...
It's not in the roses...

It's in the couple's everyday lives, serving and loving each other, that makes their sweetness profound and felt to the bone by others around them and they themselves.

I didn't feel the love from the gift given to my friend that day. It's just once-in-a-blue-moon event. No follow-ups. No fulfillment of needs. No real service. Just feelings... In other words, "Love" for them was just a matter of feelings and not really an action that should be taken seriously.

True Sweetness is a by-product when True Love is felt. True Love is felt only by self-giving. In a relationship, you do not have time to think of your needs. Because your needs is automatically fulfilled by your partner. Thus, you use the time to fulfill your partner's needs by self-giving. This is what you call "The Theory of Equivalent Exchange" in relationships (See Love Blog Series #1: The Theory of Equivalent Exchange).

It's not a matter of how many gifts he or she has given you...
It's not even a matter of how much each gift costs...
It's also not a matter of how many "I love you" sentences he or she has blurted out to you...
Not even on how many kisses you have made...
or even on how long you have been together...

Sweetness cannot be found there.
As long as there is no quality... All these are fake.
As long as there is no service and self-sacrifice... All these are fake.
As long as there is no True Love... All these are fake.


Sweetness can only be felt when you truly love each other; when you truly serve each other; when you truly feel God's Love surrounding both you.

And that what's sweetness is all about.